An Apology for My Recent Absence

I know my site has been relatively quiet as of late. Although I could easily make excuses of being busy gathering all my Spanish visa documents and making all sorts of appointments before I leave for Spain, I do realize that everyone is busy, not just me. However, it truly hasn’t been my busy schedule that has kept me from writing. If you remember, I wrote a few months back about all the things I was doing before leaving for Spain, and the last of those things was trying to figure out what was going to happen with a relationship with a girlfriend of  3 and a half years.

…even though I’m almost 25…      (Source)

Now, I’m not one to write about relationship problems because, frankly, people don’t want to read about it. Also since everyone’s relationships are completely different there’s no single perfect way to handle every situation. However, in my decision to teach abroad my 3 and a half year relationship was an incredibly tough part of my decision, and I am sure that there are others out there who have asked themselves can I teach abroad if I have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

I consulted a number of friends who are teaching abroad or have taught abroad in numerous countries (primarily Spain and South Korea) for different lengths of time about whether teaching abroad can be done if you’re in a relationship with someone back in the United States. The response I always got was that it was possible, but that few people do it. If it is attempted, both people have to be fully committed to making it work.

In my situation, I wanted to teach abroad and she did not. She was not willing to support me going alone though. I did not want to stay back and resent her for not going or always wonder what if for the rest of my life. For her, making the jump from a steady, safe, stable job to a 9 month teaching contract with significant pay decreases was too much uncertainty, whereas I am gladly giving up my high salaried job for an uncertain future and the chance to experience the world.

People are different. We all have different dreams, hopes, and desires, so I cannot be upset at her for wanting something that I don’t. Right now, I have no desire to settle down at a job, buy a house, and have kids. Doing all that would mean me most likely giving up the opportunity to teach abroad. She wants all that now, and that’s where we differed for the most part.

The most disappointing thing to me was that I was willing to support all of her dreams, but she was not willing to support mine. I firmly believe that supporting each other, even if you are physically apart for some time, is the only way a relationship can be truly successful.

About a month and a half ago, I ended our relationship in confidence and was ready to go to Spain. After a few days, I began to have second thoughts, and we both agreed to work on the relationship. However, I began to notice that by us “working on our relationship” she was really just hoping that my desire to teach and live abroad was just a silly phase that I would move on from. That wasn’t going to happen though because it’s not just a phase.

Therefore, I’ve been absent from this blog because I was riding a roller coaster of emotions and trying to figure out if I was willing to give up this once in a lifetime opportunity of teaching in Almuñécar, Spain in order to work on the relationship. With just about two and a half months left until I depart for Spain, I will be updating this blog more often, and I’m sure it will only get more interesting once I actually arrive in Andalusia.

Thank you for everyone who read this and did not immediately unfollow me or unsubscribe from my blog. It’s been difficult for me to write this and to come back to blogging after everything that happened, but travel is what my heart is telling me to do. I also promise not to have relationship issue posts anytime in the near future.

8 responses to “An Apology for My Recent Absence

  1. Good on you. I agree, relationship posts can be super annoying, but I understand where you are coming from with this post. It is really related to your upcoming adventure, and it’s a big decision. You are allowed a relationship post every once in awhile, as long as you don’t go on and on about it ;). Best of luck with everything in Almuñecar. It will definitely be a learning experience.

    • Thank you! My relationship was very intertwined with my decision of teaching in Spain. Thanks for tolerating the post too! I definitely cannot wait for the next two months to pass, so then I’ll finally be in Spain.

  2. Believe it or not, I think a lot more people don’t mind reading relationship posts than you think, because it is one of those challenges that everyone can relate to in some way, shape or form. Congrats on sticking to your guns and following your heart. I made a new friend who also had to end things with her boyfriend because she felt that she wasn’t growing with him, and she said, “Even though it’s hard to do, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.” These challenges are what allow you to grow and open up your life to even bigger things. It may not be entirely clear now as to the purpose of the situation, but down the line, whether it’s in Spain or in some other part of the world on your travels, it will become crystal clear and you’ll be grateful for it.

    • I love your quote, and while I say people don’t like relationship posts, I found myself searching the web for just that – relationship posts. I hope my situation can shed light on someone else’s even though all relationships are unique.

  3. Great post. Thank you for writing it. A couple of my past long-term boyfriends did not support my dreams, and I (stupidly) chose them over my desires. I don’t believe in regret, but I would’ve been better off following my dreams back then. At least I’m doing it now – I’m doing the NALCA program in Andalucía! Looking forward to following your journey on your blog.

    • Thanks for the reply and reading! I’m glad to hear that you are finally going. I put off going for two years and finally decided to do it, whatever the “consequences” may be. Plus with a government program, you never know how long it will be around. Next year it’s entirely possible the program could seize to exist.

  4. Pingback: 10 Reasons Why I Decided to Teach Abroad Now | Mapless Mike·

  5. Pingback: Goals for Teaching in Spain | Mapless Mike·

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